And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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