We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
