I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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