question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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