she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
