i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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