Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
