the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
