You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
