grandma shit on top of the toilet
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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