I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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