So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
