She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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