remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
