he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
