All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
