Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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