ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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