Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing āthis is going right up my assā. LOUDLY
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