Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
only you would photoshop your dick
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
