quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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