He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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