dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
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my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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