My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
No more Irish car bombs ever.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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