why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Alive.
So much puke
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
