I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
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Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
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I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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