And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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