So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
