Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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