he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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