I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
