dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
