it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
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I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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