i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
