Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
