Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.

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(805) she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat. http://tfl.nu/up7k

Replies (12) Good night (1375) Bad night (1566)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??

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(702): Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks?? http://tfl.nu/ct6g

Replies (15) Good night (2772) Bad night (866)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"

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(814): I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?" http://tfl.nu/fmqf

Replies (57) Good night (912) Bad night (3991)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.

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(678): I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night. http://tfl.nu/yws8

Replies (9) Good night (8557) Bad night (870)
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(330): View more from Ohio

My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for

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(330): My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for http://tfl.nu/h1bq

Replies (18) Good night (4697) Bad night (1085)
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(03): View more from

you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!

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(03): you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!! http://tfl.nu/e67e

Replies (18) Good night (7014) Bad night (1047)
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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach

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(506): Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach http://tfl.nu/g758

Replies (14) Good night (801) Bad night (6788)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."

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(504): And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone." http://tfl.nu/d5h9

Replies (15) Good night (2710) Bad night (1107)
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(806): View more from Texas

He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.

(1-806): View more from Texas

I feel like you never had a virginity..

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(806): He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to. (1-806): I feel like you never had a virginity.. http://tfl.nu/77ey

Replies (10) Good night (3145) Bad night (1195)
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(408): View more from California

Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.

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(408): Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked. http://tfl.nu/qje8

Replies (8) Good night (1075) Bad night (1606)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility

(910): View more from North Carolina

well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...

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(816): I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility (910): well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is... http://tfl.nu/9yjx

Replies (5) Good night (1677) Bad night (675)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having

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(720): Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having http://tfl.nu/k4bc

Replies (3) Good night (830) Bad night (510)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.

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(513): Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs. http://tfl.nu/km54

Replies (1) Good night (959) Bad night (360)
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(512): View more from Texas

You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.

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(512): You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk. http://tfl.nu/ypfw

Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (313)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.

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(423): So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class. http://tfl.nu/xrt7

Replies (5) Good night (869) Bad night (265)

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