I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
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I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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