he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.