Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
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I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god