Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.

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(512): Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes. http://tfl.nu/c6y2

Replies (9) Good night (1004) Bad night (879)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time

(1-763): View more from Minnesota

Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.

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(763): So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time (1-763): Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother. http://tfl.nu/6l4l

Replies (29) Good night (1241) Bad night (2791)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat

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(203): i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat http://tfl.nu/frov

Replies (24) Good night (4643) Bad night (582)
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(478): View more from Georgia

I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?

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(478): I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/kb80

Replies (23) Good night (3496) Bad night (900)
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(972): View more from Texas

Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...

(214): View more from Texas

Was she wearing cherry chapstick??

(972): View more from Texas

No. Life's not always a fairytale.....

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(972): Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan... (214): Was she wearing cherry chapstick?? (972): No. Life's not always a fairytale..... http://tfl.nu/2nel

Replies (24) Good night (6694) Bad night (913)
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(760): View more from California

She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.

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(760): She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/eh4f

Replies (30) Good night (7683) Bad night (1263)
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(443): View more from Maryland

I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?

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(443): I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch? http://tfl.nu/v0c3

Replies (17) Good night (4529) Bad night (909)
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(703): View more from Virginia

To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."

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(703): To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M." http://tfl.nu/juhx

Replies (8) Good night (6224) Bad night (866)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.

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(517): Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls. http://tfl.nu/kswf

Replies (3) Good night (2107) Bad night (1620)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor

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(780): A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/h37q

Replies (14) Good night (2703) Bad night (1035)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.

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(306): Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/ykxr

Replies (8) Good night (1244) Bad night (538)
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(575): View more from New Mexico

It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.

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(575): It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest. http://tfl.nu/dnlf

Replies (10) Good night (1726) Bad night (523)
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(303): View more from Colorado

My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.

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(303): My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you. http://tfl.nu/ugo1

Replies (19) Good night (778) Bad night (1563)
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(616): View more from Michigan

i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.

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(616): i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm. http://tfl.nu/enq5

Replies (3) Good night (944) Bad night (351)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.

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(479): Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie. http://tfl.nu/n54r

Replies (7) Good night (863) Bad night (266)

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