"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.