R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.