Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?

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  (818): what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand? http://tfl.nu/e114
  Replies (47) Good night (5723) Bad night (791)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.

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  (810): I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years. http://tfl.nu/10l8
  Replies (10) Good night (2348) Bad night (1050)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.

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  (573): officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street. http://tfl.nu/ajuf
  Replies (12) Good night (3427) Bad night (1232)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.

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  (202): I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded. http://tfl.nu/owwz
  Replies (30) Good night (5111) Bad night (4017)
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  (845): View more from New York

  and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.

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  (845): and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college. http://tfl.nu/7djk
  Replies (4) Good night (2681) Bad night (786)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived

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  (845): Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived http://tfl.nu/83e2
  Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.

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  (336): I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale. http://tfl.nu/9c1d
  Replies (19) Good night (4343) Bad night (972)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.

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  (404): The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad. http://tfl.nu/jenx
  Replies (8) Good night (964) Bad night (2020)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  "So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins

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  (304): "So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins http://tfl.nu/eetx
  Replies (1) Good night (1372) Bad night (500)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!

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  (309): Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half! http://tfl.nu/uska
  Replies (4) Good night (1363) Bad night (602)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?

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  (506): Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant? http://tfl.nu/bdft
  Replies (3) Good night (797) Bad night (691)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.

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  (617): The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie. http://tfl.nu/3kb9
  Replies (16) Good night (1415) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We were destined to go to rehab together

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  (405): We were destined to go to rehab together http://tfl.nu/ewf5
  Replies (4) Good night (678) Bad night (473)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.

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  (830): A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work. http://tfl.nu/eqs6
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha

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  (304): Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha http://tfl.nu/xonb
  Replies (1) Good night (892) Bad night (470)

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