Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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