instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
