Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
