You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
