That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
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He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
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Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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