Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
