i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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