Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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