i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
