Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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