I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My feet surprised me
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