yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
