My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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