Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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