her vagine was all disorganized.
please come you make the beer taste better
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
