At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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