I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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