Dude my mom stole all your condoms
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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