Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
