If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
