Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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