i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
