took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
