it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
