I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
