in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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